The title says much about this post. Separated husband chose to be comforted by his first ex-wife. Expected?. Anyway, I tried to offer help or solace but flatly rejected. I tried. Maybe the future will hold new personal growth where needed. I hope so for him. He avoided dealing with his previous family members deaths, so it seems this one too will follow similar trajectory.
I have good memories of her. She made an effort to cook the food I liked. She asked for my opinions. She included me in exercise programs. She loved my kids. I remember she was particular kind and respectful of me one day. It was after my husband’s grandparents’ death. She want to know if I wanted an oil painting of the grandfather. She was particular careful to say that she understood if I did not want such a painting displayed in my home. I accepted the offer of the painting, knowing that my husband would appreciate the gesture. (Funny that when he left the family home, he took that painting as if it was his to take.)
Love is an essential emotion. Scary to be vulnerable. Amazing how much hurt can be felt in the moment.
The decisions you make are yours and yours alone from here till the end. Some never realize this. The escape-goat is utilized to make consequences of decisions ‘easier’ to process.
hugs to all experiencing loss.
“hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies”